haix...yest blog waz simply too early....afta dat....sya invited me into a window i nvr knew i cld eva  been to....when sya invited me n sed hi...i replied back a hi n waz kinda confused cuz she aredy had a window chat wif me...i waz like y anoder one?....den did i realize de new window was de window to luqman!! oh goshz!! she made us chat...welll twaz all funny....but least i had a so called proper conv wif him..or shld i even call it proper....itz like so awkward...hax...i cldnt even get my words out properly....haix...n den out of nowhere...he simply asked me " y did u like me?" i waz like..outa all qnz...y diz one? n i waz practically screaming my head off when he asked dat.......ok maybe not literally screamed but i tried to strain my voice till  no sound came out....but o curz itz so obvious dat my bro came running n check on me wondering wat the hell waz wrong wif me...oh goshz.i tried to get hold of myself ...but the fact that i'm reli toking to him waz a real big deal 4 me n when he asked me dat qn..twaz de last thing i need to blow myself off....n i did....goshz i waz like outa control n in de end i cldnt ans him.part of it cuz i cldnt say it out n i cldnt put it in words n i'm oso scared to say it all out...i mean wat wld he think ryt? i dunno i'm juz too conscious of wat hes gonna think of me tru wat i  say....hax...we din reli haf a proper chat cuz half de tym i waz p.ming sya n he oso p.ming sya...n syas like a middle person connecting to bof of us...haiz how i wish i cld juz tok!...

tt waz dat.today met up wif de clazz n went to toa payoh stadium 4 our first sportz day...ahahaz....it waz spoz to b a fun day....i think.....cuz year ones angkat title champion level.....hax....de cheerleading waz pretty cool.....when de guyz start to breakdancing....but the gurlz r like xtraz dwn der juz shaking pompoms oni...wheres de somersaults?? hax too bad dey dun let de year 3 to continue wif their original idea...de guyz wearing gurlz stuff n den dey were disqualified....hax....den dey haf to continue wif de guyz juz being plain guyz....hax...but wateva dey kinda rock...very sporting....while wateva....outa nowhere fir msged me asking if itz true shazni sounded me...n wat my anz waz.....o curz i waz like how the fuck does he know? likely ans...shahid...i mean sya obviously knows n obviously she haf to tell shahid.but heck i dun care if shahid knows but i dunno y he haf to tell it to fir....slip of tongue? den beta not to know it....it juz made things worse 4 fir n me......he den asked if i still haf feelings 4 luqman n dat yest nyt i waz on msn wif him.......i waz like..ok wat else does he know? god y muz shahid say that too? i mean yest nyt waz spoz to b sumthhin nice to b remembered n here they r making me feel sick juz cuz of last nyt.......but wateva it is since he want me to be straight, i waz like yah i still fancy him...goshz...i waz on de verge of screaming aredy.....itz like so pressurising telling stuff dat hurt de person..n itz so against my principle to do dat.......but wtf.i'm tired of all diz so i juz am straight...okie...i waz hard but i cldnt do nothing else .he wants to know...so let him know....but i do wish we cld stay at least as frenz...i dunno but it juz seemed like theres no reason 4 him to b frenz wif me.....he didnt make it clear either.....i cldnt b bothered asking him.i waz bz blasting music in my ears to cool off...haix...i've to settle wif shazni too....mayb later when de tym comez.........but he knows i've rejected him.....but wat the hell.......juz go wif da flo...

later afta dat sya n i went to town to eat.....hax..actually one of my first tymz there wif a fren.wif my family twaz once in pri 4 i think at a stupid fair....when i waz a toddler i think i've hanged arnd der lotsa times since i used to b de oni child then...until my bro comes along den i haf to stay home more.......ate at a shop dat haf food ranging frm $2.....i mean yahz....have to save ryt....but hey i kinda think de fishball mee i ate waz pretty sucky...i'm like i come all de way to twn to eat sucky food? wished i eaten sumthin else.but i cldnt waste wat i've aredy bought so i juz stuffed it dwn...i ended up being full.....n we walked all over orchard road...spoz to b fun but since de incident earlier dat day...pluz my pms...i wasnt in my hyper mood....so too bad we almost wlked in silence...hax...i know syas bored...so am i...i mean it cldve been more fun if ....i dunno things r juz beta....also we were kinda tired out walking till our legz cant carry us any more....den we walked all de way back to de smrt stn...haz de penat sgt agaknyer sampai naik salah train..we went to bugis when we want to go de opposite way.......hax....cleva ppl uhz?

got home .....slept like a log....... still in my sch u..woke up at 7 pluz...had a bathe....eat....iron my clothes.......wanna sudy but no mood cuz i know i had to blog todayz events b4 i lost it.....hax...how cld i lost it? today waz a freaking day...some gds n some bad.....ok lah.....hope tmrs beta.......how cld it be beta? i've a gp exam tmr..n i havent done a single thing.....haix...oh god do a miracle on me n lemme pass this exam since i've neva passed a gp papaer b4....Amin...

freaking day i had~

juz yest i waz all happi n relieved abt tues eventz....c lah too happi unitl i 4got today waz geog lecture n wateva i feared came true.......

haix.........i came in to put ma things in de room first den went toilet wif sya....at de door...shazni came in....n greeted me " hi syg!" ishz...come to think of it....i'm starting to dislike de idea of this whole stupid thing... haix..kalolah sya ckp siang2...taklah jadi mcm gini agaknyer eh....

yest nytz....shazni sez...."kiter action mcm gurlfren/boyfren ah?"....aku pun satu bodoh...aku bleh kater lagi...y not?okie.... mayb bcuz i dun wan to upset him de 2nd tym afta i rejected his proposal....but den again...i tot he doesnt wan other ppl to know...n dat it juz happen when we msg each other.i nvr expect him to reli come to me n say "hi syg!" i reli waz taken aback.....haix...when i wanna enter de room...bumped into fir at de door....huiz...terperanjat seh...i cld oni managed a  funny hello...dah tu i took my seat beside sya...shazni waz aredy sitting at de seat in front of sya den he get up n sat beside me....oh goshz...fir,who sat at de sit beside shazni's "b4" seat waz calling me to sit beside him...but i cldnt reli get up n move ryt? i mean its like so obvious....so i juz remained wif sya....den fir waz all Bonyok...n shazni waz all smiling away....dey actually signalled to each other in front of me....like quarelling to sit beside me....oh my god...de last thing i eva need.....n wat a tym....juz as i reli wanna listen to cute Eric tok abt geog.haix....afta dat shazni asked if my mum let me use de fone at home...i sed yah....den he waz all,'so can i call u later at nyt?' n i juz snapped a "no!" n walked off...goshz...i waz all screaming afta de lesson n i cldnt eat a single thing except stuff myself wif soyabean to relieve me hunger.reli diz boyz juz made me feel worse...n den at de canteen...shazni waz like everywhere i go....i waz buying de drink n he appeared outa nowhere...den he waz like ryt behind me wif sum other guyz wifout me noticing....hax....he even got to my clazz to look 4 me abt de geog thing...whoa...now dun tell me diz guy iz gonna start stalking me....goshz n at de same tym fir was msging me y i din sit wif him....haix...well i took syas advice juz simply ignore em....wish i'd done dat way earlier...haix.........haix.haix

yah n today wasnt syas day either...or rather twaz yest....she waz all grumpy n upset n stressed n all dat ...well cant reli blame her....shahids kinda make her feel confused...whoa...guyz...so complicated....they feel de same way abt us gurls too if u wanna know.datz wat dir sed lah...he doesnt know how gurls mantality werkz.....well so r we...we dun understand how ur species minds werk at all...itz like all so sickening.........n the day is such a drag....twaz such a boring day i almost slept tru de day except 4 mly lesson....haiz...today waz one o de best mly lesson...we were telling ghost stories 4 two periods....wat fun....everybody was laughing their head off........haax.....n too bad today waz cikgu dayus last day wif us..how sa......i used to say wat a merepek teacher....but den we got to like her...she made us tok wif de others....n unite us ...not like b4...we dun tok wif other classes students...haax...shes made a big change.....sya sez so too...were gonna misss u cikgu!! haax...rasiahz gonna b back i think....hax...hope she n her pmses r over....