haix...today wasnt reli a gd day....i mean muh team lost big tym during pe netball match...am not reli surprised actually...i got muh reasons but another factor is dat i cldnt get myself energised like usual...u know like how u start ur bike? step on de engine....vroom it goes....well i can do dat...played my whole heart last game but today its like...i cldnt get my engine running ....everytime i step on it....it cldnt go up...like...i juz cldnt get my body energised....n then i felt de flatness in me...i felt de 'cldnt be bothered to run 4 de ball' feeling....n i knew my period is coming...sigh well i waz right later when i got home...sick man! i've fast for half a day! ah so rugi!!! but den again...i havent reli de appetite to eat...am suffering cramps ryt now...sighz....

sch wasnt any more fun...teachers were going tru papers....n i was like ....oh shit i din say dat! man ...i dun remember putting dat in! all those stuff i sed...uncountable times...n thuz my hopes was actually decreasing.......i was dead worried during econs lesson.........tried to had a counselling session wif ms loh but it din reli make any much diff....i'm so dead worried!! rasiah was all saying..." i dun c wats de big deal abt pupils retaining..." though its true dat we might score better....but hey u know de odds....-embarressment...wif frenz....n Family...neverending qns wld be bombarded at me...n ppl arnd simply wldnt be helping! it juz adds up the pressure....an incentive to werk hard? but but but...i reli reli dun wanna stay back! i dun wanna be left alone! i dun wanna be separated wif muh frenz...sighz...

uh F....diz thing is killing me....i cant even type in peace.tmrs gonna be a hell long day....hafta stay back 4 drama hearing sum freaks giving a tok abt a movie i'm not even gonna watch.wat a waste of tym....seriously i kinda regret i'm in it cuz i find that theres practicaly nthg significantly benefiting me there....i find it dead bored hearing them crack jokes which i think is way lamer then mine.anw...i was thinking abt joining one of the dance grpz...mayb de mly dance...juz for the SYF next year....i'm like so desperate 4 pearl points.its so hopeless for me to be in the SC/FL thing ...since nobody wld vote 4 mua...howeva much id like to be one..juz to experience leadership stuff oh well not surprising reli...bill isnt much of help at all....oh well....since if i cant earn pearl points dat way...den de next thing is to join de syf thing so dat i cld represent MI sumhow...but wat abt my drama?ah who actually cares?i do!!! cant u c? i'm kinda dedicated to wateva cca i'm in...but i so wanna do other things too u know....but if i do dat...the other members will c me like sumone who isnt interested in drama at all n itz like the other ppl who always haf bad attendence. but i'm not like that!!! lifes sooo freaking tough!~!